2019, You’re Lookin’ Good.
I have to laugh at myself as I’m currently sitting in the Radiation office waiting for Ryan to complete his second treatment while HGTV plays loudly on the waiting room television. Life is so weird!
Last week we sat down at our dining room table with cups of coffee, excited to review and reflect on our 2018 goals, and within minutes we were legitimately rolling with laughter. After knowing what we know now about 2018, our list was hysterical. All the things we were going to do and all the places we were going to see… ha! But, to be fair, a few of them we did accomplish, even hitting some of the extremely lofty ones… but for the most part our goals/plans went untouched.
When we got hit with the Ryan’s cancer diagnosis last June we threw everything out the window and went into survival mode. So as we reviewed 2018 we were just so happy we made it to the finish line. Because, guys, it is an actual miracle.
So as I reflect on last year and prepare my heart for 2019, I have a fresh new set of eyes. Our counselor has this saying I love. She says that once you’ve been through something big and hard your eyes get new lenses, and you see the entire world differently. In the past 10 years I have gotten a few new sets of lenses… This past years made my vision so much clearer, and for that I’m thankful.
Two Resolutions I’m Going to Fight For in 2019
This year I have many goals, both personal and business, because how do you get anything exciting done without them?! But more than that, I have just two things I want to focus on and be mindful of this year. And, to be honest, they both fall under the category of submission.
Now, before you freak out on me for using that word, hear me out! I don’t mean what you think I mean. Nothing about me is less than bold, a go-getter, and an obstacle tackler… So I don’t mean “submit” in any oppressive way. I mean it as understanding that I am not in control of what happens, but I am in control of the way I handle it. My goal is to delight (my word for the year) in whatever season I’m in and find joy in it. That doesn’t mean I’m not fighting for my goals, ideas, and dreams daily with 100% of my energy. It just means that I want to delight in each and every step. Be happy with where I am, not miss out on the good that happens every day, as I slowly but surely tackle a goal list 3 miles long. Submit to exactly where my feet are as I plan and dream for bigger things.
And last of all, a more tactful over-arching goal for this year is timeliness. I’m ALWAYS on time with work projects, e-mails, etc, but I am never on time in real life, like ever. A few weeks ago I was meeting a couple of my girlfriends for cocktails when I walked in (20 minutes late) on them talking about how I’m always late. They were joking to themselves about it, but I totally heard the whole thing. I quickly sat down and said, “GUYS!!!!! Um, I’m right here, I can hear everything you’re saying!” They just laughed and said it was nothing they wouldn’t say to my face… and they were right. We all had a good laugh about it, but I chalked it up to a one-off event.
Then, a few days later I overheard my mom telling my sister a different time than me to be somewhere for dinner. She told me 5:30 and Kyla 6:00. I was like, “wait a minute! You told me 5:30,” and she blushed. She said she’s been giving me a 30 minute buffer for years. I looked at Ryan right then and there and decided 2019 was the year I start arriving places on time.
Similarly to “delight”, being on time is really all about submitting to the fact that I CANNOT GET IT ALL DONE. It’s impossible. And doing “just one more thing” before I leave home is not only damaging to me, because I’m always flustered, but it’s also not respectful of other people’s time. It shortchanges the relationships I care about most.
When I look back on 2019, no matter what surprises the year brings, I want to say that I delighted in the journey and that I was on time to cocktails with my girlfriends. 😉